Worst to Best: Every I Think You Should Leave Sketch Part Three
50. Motorcycles
The prize to which sketch just makes me happiest has to go to this one. Sometimes you’re in the mood to watch The Godfather, and other times you’re just in the mood to watch a race of alien bikies get excited about the prospect of a world full of motorcycles.
Best line: “Motorcycle, no motor? Okay!”
49. Stage Magician
The two scenes that open and close this sketch - featuring Robinson being lightly embarrassed by a stage magician, are fine. But the middle scene with Robinson in bed with his wife (Cecily Strong), is incredible. Her line readings and genuine disgust at her husband’s humiliation sell this sketch.
Best line: “We will stay married and raise the kids until they’re out of the house, but I will not respect you, and I’ll make sure the kids don’t either”.
48. Sitcom Taping
A beautifully elaborate sketch. One of the greatest joys of watching an ITYSL sketch for the first time is trying to guess what innocuous statement will send Robinson’s character down a humiliating spiral. At first, his excitement at the taping, and his genuineness towards his fellow audience members seems to be the platform that the sketch is about to bound off, however when Robinson’s character's eyes light up at the suggestion that “millions of people” will be listening to their laughter, we know the game is on. The pay-off of the Super Bowl ring in the final sequence is my highlight, however it is unfortunate that this sequence that closes the sketch doesn’t feel like it adds much to what we already had Robinson describe. Sometimes it is better to just let the imagination run wild, as opposed to being shown the non-proverbial spring soup.
Best line: “Oh, yeah, well, he had a piece of plywood painted black. Like it was the, uh, wall of the limo. Like it was the end of the limo. But I could hear people in there. And there was a part of it that was over the ice tray. And sometimes we'd see a hand come underneath the plywood and grab the ice tray to pull it to their side. And the hand had a Super Bowl ring on it”.
47. Calico Cut Pants
Because I was not brave enough to place the longest ITYSL sketch at either ends of the list, I have placed it almost exactly in the middle. I refuse to elaborate as to why, as I still haven’t completely decided how I feel about this sketch. Is it a hilarious Lynchian experiment, or is it one of the show’s most egregious examples of over-indulgence. I say, neither.
Best line: In a sketch overladen with jokes and concepts, my personal favourite is the runner about Robinson’s wife eating batteries: “She just keeps eating batteries. She says she's not eating them, then we go to the doctor the doctor says, "Yeah, we found a battery in there".
46. Detective Crashmore Interview
Finally we arrive at the return of Detective Crashmore to bring us into the collection of sketches in this show that I quote from on a daily basis. Like a cosmic gumbo this sketch combines a parody of how stars act on press junket tours, with the absurdity of said star being Santa Claus. It also serves as a proper introduction to the incomparable Biff Wiff into the ITYSL universe.
Best line: A tie between “It’s like a cosmic gumbo” and “I’ve seen every dick on the planet”.
45. Fenton’s Stables and Horse Ranch
Dick jokes are an over-used commodity in comedy. But a joke about a horse killing itself because it was purposefully bred with a small penis to assuage the interspecies penis envy of the male riders at Fenton’s ranch? Now that’s a good dick joke.
Best line: “Huh bigger than a horse. I like the sound of that”.
44. Gift Receipt
The first episode of the series ends with what might possibly be the most quintessential ITYSL sketch. You’ve got mud pies, an impeccably cast guest star (Steven Yuen), and Robinson’s screaming, all wrapped up within a simple premise that gradually gives way to absurdity. The moment that everyone in the room suddenly turns on Yuen is a brilliant subversion. Despite the fact that he doesn’t survive the sketch, it’s nice to see Robinson get a win for once.
Best line: “I took a shower last night, after I took a piss and shit”.
43. Team Building Workshop
Robinson has stated in many interviews that a lot of the dialogue on the show is inspired by the way in which toddlers speak. Run-on sentences, with grammatical inconsistencies and poor syntax dot many of the ITYSL episodes, however this sketch seems to employ them more than most. Possibly, because it centers around a set of toddler-like tantrums by several employees at a team building workshop. Season three is full of some inspired visual tableaus but this sketch gets in early with Robinson’s fake water throwing.
Best line: “I got too hyper”.
42. The Capitol Room
Everything that leaves Patti’s mouth in this sketch is comedic perfection. It’s a shame that we have to keep moving away from her for the purpose of the advertisement parody.
Best line: “And popcorn!”
41. Tables
Another excellent Patti Harrison sketch. It’s also probably one of the only ITYSL sketches that actually provides an explanation for its absurd elements. To be fair, that explanation does involve Harrison being employed as a table-provider for horror and sci-fi conventions.
Best line: “I just got screamed at by Freddy Krueger!”
40. Mitch Bryant - Call Me Now
Perhaps this sketch doesn’t deserve to be this high up, but I can’t deny having a soft spot for Turbo time and joke toilets. Something about seeing the exterminators mouth Robinson’s words just tickles me to no end. As the second sketch in the series, this introduces us perfectly to the strange turns of phrase that exist in the ITYSL universe. You have to appreciate that every character in these sketches always goes for the most absurd and specific terms possible to get their point across.
Best line: I love the entire Turbo Time rant, but Robinson’s final caveat that until someone is a part of the Turbo Team they have to “walk…slowly” is the funniest part.
39. River Mountain High
I’m counting both the original sketch and the follow-up as the same sketch here, including the excellent TC Tuggers advertisement that concludes the sequence. Everything from the editing, to the pitch perfect approximation of dramatic teen acting is excellent. I’m honestly running out of things to say about how good all of these sketches are. Every time the camera cuts back to Robinson, awkwardly providing extra unnecessary info about the product he’s trying to placement, kills me. Also props to the catchiness of the TC Tugger commercial that ends the segment. It’s just such a pitch perfect advertisement for menswear.
Best line: “Not really” - Robinson responding to the question of whether or not the TC tugger shirts come in other styles is delivering anti-climatically after he has taken a long gulp from a water bottle.
38. Tammy Craps
I appreciate that this sketch unfolds almost like a riddle that you need to solve. The fact that Julia Butters never stops her advertisement cadence, means that you’re desperately trying to keep up, wondering why everyone seems to so specifically be referring to their weight and whether or not there are any farts inside the dolls head. As all of these absurd non-sequiturs begin to connect, the fast pace of the sketch means that you still feel as if you can never quite keep up with all the twists and turns.
Best line: “I love Tammy Craps. I’m 60 pounds”.
37. Wink
Another sketch carried by a stellar cameo performance, this time by Mr Show’s Bob Odenkirk. In many ways, ITYSL is a cosmic successor to the 2000s punk comedy sketch show with Odenkirk and David Cross, so it’s a true delight to see him appear in this universe. The sheer earnestness of Odenkirk’s character gels well with a rare ‘straight man’ performance by Robinson. And who can blame this man for chucking in a few extra fibs! Sometimes you just want to take an opportunity to entertain a fantasy of classic cars and a beautiful dying wife.
Best line: This is a really hard sketch to pick a favourite line from because it flows so perfectly from start to finish with an incredible rapport between Odenkirk and Robinson. I’m always a fan of repetition, so I love every mention of how Odenkirk’s character has “doubles”, or even “triples”. Yeah cause “triples is best”.
36. Dan Flashes
I do love Dan Flashes and the shirts they sell. If I had the money, I would very likely be seen at the Shops at the Creek, fighting other brunette white men for the shirts with the most complicated designs. The sheer absurdity of every level of this premise is wonderful, and I think it’s the meme quality of “complicated patterned shirts” that makes this one a favourite for many people. Which means that many forget that the sketch itself that features this inspired idea is probably twice as long as it needs to be and spends far too much time on Doug, who’s a fucking skunk! The second part of this sketch where we actually get to see the aforementioned ad devolve into Lynchian chaos, is easily the highlight.
Best line: “Dan Flashes is a very aggressive store. I mean, you walk by a store and you see 50 guys who look just like me fighting over very complicated shirts, you go in”.
35. Shirt Brothers
I can’t decide what I love more: Biff’s keen excitement over finding a ‘shirt brother’ at this children’s recital or his despondent temper tantrum after he comes to the realization that there might not actually be any rules. Suffice to say, the triumphant return of Biff Wiff does not disappoint.
Best line: Apart from the incredible rap breakdown, Biff Wiff’s sad confession of: “I tried to rip the Wright brothers off the ceiling, brother” is so good.
34. Kids
The main throughline of this sketch, with Jason Schwartzman slowly opening up to people and learning how to go beyond his current obsession with his kids, isn’t particularly funny. It’s sweet and subtle storytelling that doesn't usually exist in ITYSL. And then there’s Tim Robinson, who has inadvertently become the most popular guy at the party because he made it look like the dog was blowing him. It’s the illogical leap that always works perfectly in this show and the final set piece of Robinson, surrounded by desperate middle-aged men all brainstorming the next fun thing they’re gonna do, intercut with Schwartzmann having the best night of his life is so so so good.
Best Line: “Now everybody loves me too much. Now guys keep coming to me saying, "What's the next wild thing we're gonna do?".
33. Blues Brothers
Whenever a Robinson character wants to try and help, only chaos can follow. The chaos in this sketch, is an increasingly loud and awkward one man Blues Brothers tribute performance. What makes this sketch great is Robinson’s continued dogged enthusiasm that just turning up the music a little louder will somehow solve everybody’s problems. The final reveal that Robinson had for some time been weeping behind the iconic glasses is the icing on the cake.
Best line: “It’s just me, Barbie, I’m not the Blue’s Brothers”.
32. Fully Loaded Nachos
Watching this sketch is like watching a heist movie, where every step of the plan is hilariously idiotic. Robinson’s scheme to confront his date over eating too much of the ‘fully loaded nachos’ is complex and ridiculous and the fact that she immediately sees through the lie leads to one of the funniest moments of silence in the series.
Best line: “I went up there to complain about the rule”. As much as each of Robinson’s ‘whats’ are increasingly funny, I just love this hopeless attempt to save face.
31. Instagram Post
This sketch, placed as it is in the first episode, provides a refreshing change of pace as we learn that Robinson is not the only socially inept person in this world. Vanessa Bayer plays an incredibly relatable character (for me at least) who doesn’t understand the confusing politics of self-deprecating instagram posts. From the moment she starts to transcribe her attempts, the sketch doesn’t let up as Bayer lets out a never-ending onslaught of hilarious word vomit.
Best line: “Load my frickin lard carcass into the mud. No coffin please, just wet, wet mud…bae”.
30. ABX Heart Monitor
In any other sketch show, every sketch that appears in the top 30 of this list, would be its greatest. Instead, these Crown Jewels of comedy have to compete against each other in a bloodthirsty Battle Royale for dominance. Tim Heidecker has only had one sketch per season of ITYSL but due to how good two out of those three are, his presence is felt so much more. In this sketch, his highlights include: repeated assertions that he wants to go to Haunted House more than Aqua, kissing his wife goodbye as he heads into the club and searching said club for evidence of trapdoors. Kudos must be given to Heidecker when his performance is even able to eclipse the pitch perfect closing line: “Kim Kardashian’s head fell off”.
Best line: “I actually want to go to Haunted House more than Aqua”.
29. Tasty Time Vids
Completely unrelated to this sketch, why is Connor O’Malley so jacked? His arms look like weapons. Honestly, I reckon he would be able to easily beat up Frankenstein and that he shouldn’t worry at all about sleeping with his chick. It is so much fun to see Robinson and O’Malley opposite each other, mostly because I think that O’Malley is the only person in the world who can out-Robinson Robinson. The saga of Tasty Times Vids is a sad tale that many comedy writers are far too familiar with. You want to be able to write and produce quality comedy vids every Friday but very quickly the reality of writer’s block and agent’s threatening to hurt your Dad dashes your dreams. Another thing to note is that this is the first time in ITYSL history that we managed to get a sketch INSIDE of a sketch.
Best line: “I think I just slept with Frankenstein's chick! Oh no!”
28. Choking
This sketch is a personal favourite. Robinson does some of his most phenomenal acting as a man desperately choking but too embarrassed to admit it. So realistic is Robinson’s performance, that I am now entirely convinced that water must smell really bad when you’re choking. The final freeze frame on Robinson’s goofy smile as he is heimliched back to life, is pure art and I want it hanging on my wall.
Best moment: Robinson throwing up his fist to deter his friend from saving his life always gets a big laugh out of me.
27. Honk If You’re Horny
Another Connor O’Malley special. The sketch is carried on the man’s desperate performance. His gremlin-like energy as he scurries between the graves is hilarious, as is his tenacious certainty that Robinson has magazines and calendars in his boot (which he does in fact have).
Best line: The entirety of Robinson’s funeral song is beautiful. Especially punctuated by O’Malley’s happy horny celebration.
26. Howie
This sketch is so frustratingly good. And Howie, as played pitch perfectly by Tim Heidecker is arguably the worst person in the entire show. Howie is obviously an exaggeration, but nobody can deny that they know a Howie. In my darkest moments, I worry sometimes that I can be a Howie. Once more, we have some brilliant nonsense names, this time of Jazz musicians such as Roy Donk and Marcus ‘The Worm’ Hicks.
Best line: “Where be your nutcracker?”